In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons.
~ Ruth 1:1, ESV ~
If you follow this story, Naomi and Ruth become widows, alone, sojourning in the desert and relying on the meager portions allotted them for food. Working with men (and women) in recovery, the one underlying observation is this:
- If only I had better parents who loved and accepted me
- If only I had made better choices in life
- If only I did not have to deal with these hardships
This is because: Many of us have experienced a famine of genuine love and affection. We were never afforded mercy and grace. In it’s place, we have had our childhood stolen because of various forms and degrees of abuse and neglect. Caught up in the family dysfunction, and lacked true connection.
Recovery and spiritual awareness moves us to a place of accepting the reality and facts of our own lives. It is more than mere acceptance of it is what it is. True acceptance means we come to a place of understanding that the facts of our lives is the nature of our lessons and strengths. By truly coming to terms that we were not granted privilege of having healthy parental love and intimacy in our childhood; did not make the best of choices in our lives; and, understanding the reality that we are going to have opposition in all things: we develop awareness of the strength and courage needed to make it through those times of distress and discomfort.
It also brings us to a place of real authentic healing where we accept the facts of our lives in order to grow and mature. We gain a fresh sense of joy where we experience enriching pleasures alongside our deep grief, shame, and guilt. Every one of us struggles with our own unique set of circumstances. Regardless of our experiences were unfair. It is not the issue of the unfairness we have experienced in the past. The true issue rests on whether or not we are ready to deal with and heal from the reality of our own facts of life.
Today, let us reflect on the real heart of acceptance of life on its own terms and rejoice in being loyal to ourselves and God.