Inspiring thought for couples – October 24, 2012

Rhythm, a sequence in time repeated, featured ...
Rhythm, a sequence in time repeated, featured in dance: an early moving picture demonstrates the waltz. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Overlook Weakness

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband – Ephesians 5:33

Happiness in marriage involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes

Gordon B. Hinckley, Stand a Little Taller, p. 311

After all, we are human. Marriage is a dance where two people start off with an awkward dance. However, as the song progresses, the couple draw closer to one another, they find their own special rhythm. One takes the lead position while the other follows with contentment, confidence, and willingness to be led. Yet, every once in a while, human weakness will come up and there is a misstep that derails the particular timing. Sometimes, it is insignificant and the couple returns back to their dance. However, there are times where it may cause the couple to lose their particular rhythm and stride. To which, they must stop, collect themselves and start afresh, regaining their composure, find that rhythm and pick up with the timing of the music. Regardless of the circumstances, the particular situations, the last thing a husband or wife could do is criticize the other for their particular failings.

We all have our weaknesses. We did not start out perfect and then develop all these weaknesses. As we begin our journey through the marital waters, husband and wife brings with them certain baggage of weaknesses that may hinder the development and intimacy needed to create a healthy and well-balanced marital institute and harmonious home. Where there is contention and strife, there is no love and respect. Where there is mutual respect and love, there is forgiveness and mercy.

Husbands, we are to love our wives in the same manner that we love our own self. If we lack the integrity and character to accept and love who we are personally, then we are not in a position to accept, respect and love a precious daughter of our Heavenly Father. We are not to engage in any abusive forms or malicious behaviors against our wives. We are to honor, love and respect them for they are our help meet. Our wives were not created to be beneath us, to walk behind us, but alongside us as equals.

Wives, the council is direct and succinct. Reverence means to show honor and respect. As mothers, you teach children to show reverence while in Sacrament meeting, when the family prays together, or reads the scriptures together. This deep respect, or regard for your husband develops over time. Being overly critical of his failings does not show reverence, it shows contempt. He is the spiritual leader of the home, the provider and the one who stands to protect you and the family.

  • Have you been critical of your spouse? Was this voiced or were the thoughts kept to yourself?
  • Had you sought out forgiveness for being critical and unforgiving of your spouse weaknesses?
  • As a couple, in what ways are you willing to overlook one another’s weakness and mistakes?
  • Is there any contempt against your spouse that you have held onto where one has not overlooked the mistakes and weaknesses of your spouse?
  • If so, has it caused contention within the home and placed a wedge in the marriage and home?
  • If it has caused contention and placed a wedge in the marriage, what will it take for the two of you to reconcile and rejoin the dance?


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